Starring Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Jordi Molla, Gabrielle Union, Peter Stormare
Plot Summary Narcotics detectives Mike Lowrey and Marcus Burnett
have been assigned to a high-tech task force investigating the flow of
designer ecstasy into Miami. This leads them to a conspiracy involving
a vicious Kingpin , whose ambitions have ignited a bloody turf war. Mike
and Marcus' working relationship is threatened when Mike develops feelings
for Marcus' sister Syd, and unless they can separate the personal from
the professional, the case and Syd's life are in danger.
“Bad Boys, Bad Boys. Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for…” TWO HOURS AND THIRTY MINUTES.
This movie is long. It’s so long that I had to alternate butt cheeks ten times to alleviate the pressure on my ass. It’s so long that you’ll need TWO Big Gulps to get through it, and THREE bathroom trips to handle those gulps. And it’s so long that I left the theater needing to shave my legs. Worst of all though, it’s so damn long with nary a single intriguing plot point in sight.
It’s pretty amazing how a movie can be 95% action and 5% story now at days. Unfortunately, these strange concoctions are being predominantly produced by Columbia this summer, which makes me sadly skeptical on the upcoming S.W.A.T. which looks pretty damn cool. Leave it to Michael Bay to make something so filled with action that you often times forget why they hell you are watching what it is that is on screen. There were so many fight scenes with car chases and shooting contests that I don’t remember which ones match which reason, but in the end, does it really matter? Plot is out this summer, and guess what, the movies are still good.
Well…fair. It’s a shame that “Bad Boys II” is so long because it overstays its welcome of being a fun action filled “wham bam thank you maam” type of movie, which is what it should have been going for. There’s nothing beyond the surface here. A lot of regurgitated jokes (the mistaken sexual joke is being overdone, seen it in Charlie’s, wasn’t that much better here), same clichés, villains are weak and forgettable, and even Will Smith being Will Smith got kind of redundant at times. The only thing that salvages the film is the raucous action that Michael Bay is guaranteed to deliver on screen, and Martin Lawrence.
Generally I don’t really like Martin Lawrence, but the man is pretty damn funny in here. Forget “Black Knight,” he redeems himself from that hideous movie with his role as Marcus. Marcus is the yon to Will Smith’s yang. Yes, you read that right. Marcus is yon because he’s beyond opposite of Smith, with his cowardice, openness, and goofiness. There’s a really funny scene where he takes some Ecstasy by accident, and massive hilarity ensues. He’s also openly candor and talks about Will’s “mama’s titties” (sorry, the word “titties” is just funny to me. I mean look at all those t’s). Freaking priceless.
But alas, these spouts of hilarity are few and far apart, and the film makes you earn them by sitting through fight after chase after explosions. I mean I’m all for action, but it starts to blur together after a while, and if weren’t for Bay’s nifty filming techniques I could have slept like a baby to the sweet sweet sound of gunshots. But even Bay can’t muster up 120 minutes of unique camerawork and the Bad Boys begin to become Bore Boys. There are better action flicks this summer guys, but if you’ve watched ever other movie possible this summer…TWICE…then Bad Boys can be worth checking out.