Starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, Adrian Grenier, Rebecca Gayheart, Joey Lauren Adams, Eric Stoltz

Plot Summary Sexy cheerleader Cindy Bandolini, daughter of the local mafia boss, seduces Alan Jensen, captain of the Harvard basketball team, into joining her in a dangerous and illegal gambling scheme. Alan starts fixing games for profit, gets into an affair with his philosophy teacher Chesney, and indulges in drugs. But when the game fixing plans go awry, Alan must outsmart the cheerleader, her father, and the FBI.

Scuz: ()

I realize that this movie is not in theaters anymore, but I must spread the word about it. IT”S ABSOLUTELY HIDEOUS AND STAY AWAY FROM IT AT ALL CAUSE.

From ever since I can remember, the movie I loathe the most is “Chasing Amy.” Well, I’m not going to change that fact because in order to truly judge I would have to watch Chasing Amy again and it’s not worth it. But, this movie is pretty damn close in the suck-o-meter! The plot is lame, the actors are horrible (except for Sarah Michelle Gellar who is exceptional as usual, but completely wasted in this two bit role), and it’s just weird and confusing! Maybe if I were on acid (the drug the main character in the movie takes), I’d have understood it. But then I’d probably turn into the dumbass that he was, and by no means is understanding this piece of crap worth it.

The story you ask? Something about a guy who is a notorious basketball “player,” two meanings here, at Harvard. Yes, they are trying to say that this short white guy is good at basketball. That noise? Is me scoffing. They are also trying to say that this short and not very attractive white guy is scoring tons of chicks. THAT noise? Is me barfing. And finally, you did read it right, this dumbass goes to Harvard. THAT NOISE?! Is me blowing my brains out for even applying if an asswipe like this can get in. And geez, if the guy acted like he had a semblance of thought, then I probably wouldn’t have been so annoyed. But, the point is that this guy can’t act. No one in the movie can. And, they aren’t that attractive. If you are going to be an actor and can’t act, then at least be hot (e.g. Denise Richards, Keanu Reeves). Anyway, his parents’ house gets blown down (<~~~ I’m not making this crap up. I couldn’t if I tried) and he needs $100,000 to help save it. Conveniently, he is screwing two women at once, and one of his girlfriends (who is also his college philosophy professor, that is NOT AN OGRE – FAKE ALERT!) tells him to borrow money from his other girlfriend, who is a Mafia boss’s daughter. He asks her and she agrees only if he will fix one of the Harvard basketball games. He does so and from this point on I get completely lost.

Hell I was lost before this point even. The movie is just stupid. Any movie that starts with shagging for no real purpose should die. My sister walked in while I was watching this and she was like “PORN?!?! MOMMMMMM…!!” Also, using jump cuts occasionally is fine, but for every freaking scene!?! It just sucks like crap, awful filming, ughhhh…horrible everything.

The saddest part is that Sarah Michelle Gellar was in this piece of crap thereby luring me to watch it. Sarah! Why quit Buffy?! So you can potentially do shiite like this!? Makes no sense, honestly. My advice is stick with Buffy, because more of this isn’t what you’d like on your filmography. Keep it up and you’ll be making worse films than Freddie does.

So, as you can see, my take on this movie is to AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS. The only stake I give it is for casting Sarah Michelle Gellar (which means the director wasn’t constantly smoking crack). Although for making her do soft core porn, minus half a stake.