Starring Sean Connery, Peta Wilson, Stuart Townsend, Tony Curran, Jason Flemyng, Shane West, Richard Roxburgh

Plot Summary Based very loosely on the Alan Moore graphic novel epic of the same name, this is the story of a group of characters drawn from famous works of literature, including Captain Nemo, Allan Quatermain, The Invisible Man, Mina Harker, Tom Sawyer, Dorian Grey, and Dr. Jekyll, banding together to combat criminal undertakings of the highest order near the turn of the 19th century.

Scuz:

“The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” is more like “the group of literary folks who seem to be cool but are really not.”

Blame it on the American education system, but LXG is supposed to be about a collection of eclectic literary folks that come together to save the world. These people are infamous names, yet I, and many others know nearly nothing about most of them. Yes, I may have heard of a name or two, but as to what they do and why they are special, for most of them I have no idea. And guess what…after seeing “LXG” I’m still baffled.

“LXG” isn’t as hideous as most reviews make it out to be but plot wise and dialogue wise (I guess that makes it screenplay wise), it’s downright atrocious at times. There are so many holes in the story that it feels as if you’re walking through the land of a thousand asses since it stinks so badly sometimes. It’s a shame too since the characters are freaking cool people, on their own that is. Individually I could see a movie being made about each of these guys, but collectively, they should kill each other. Oh btw, I’m really glad that Americans are so cocky that they had to stick in Tom Sawyer just to show some pride and make him the main character of the crappy crappy ass story. He pissed me off, and the fact that he was played by Shane West with two little girls swooning next to me, pissed me off more.

Though people blasted “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle,” at least it looked like the girls were having fun while making the movie. In LXG, everyone looked like they wanted to die. I’ve never seen Sean Connery so bored in his entire life. The world is about to end for goodness sakes and he’s like “eh that’s a shame.” And this is freaking James Bond for goodness sakes?! I guess he’s saved the world too many times as 007 because he acts pretty “been there, done that.” He must really want to kill himself for passing up “Matrix” and “The Lord of the Rings” now because that is the reason he took on LXG, hoping for it to be the next great fantasy epic. True to his line in the movie, I think he’s “waiting to be impressed.”

As for the rest of the cast, Hollywood suffered some sort of drought in the casting department because it was filled with a bunch of no names. I think the girl that played Mina was La Femme Nikita, but if so, then the years have treated her unkindly because she looks old. Stuart Townsend (Dorian) is known as the dumbass who dumped Charlize Theron I believe, and stars in another hideous movie, “Queen of the Damned.” Shane West is the only other guy I recognize, and I dislike him because he starred in “A Walk to Remember” (I hate that movie though I’ve never seen it). He’s also a freaking annoying gnat in LXG with ugly long nappy hair. Swoon I did not. And didn’t the guy that played Nemo look oddly like Osama Bin Laden? Eeep, let us just not go there.

The guy I felt bad for was Richard Roxburgh. This guy is a great actor who was marvelous as the Duke in “Moulin Rouge” and he got trapped into his minute role in this movie. Was your millions worth it Rich?! Yes, it probably was…*sob sob*

So, I’ve slandered its name enough. I’m probably biased since I wanted so much to dislike this movie as it has been a while since I wrote a bad review. And guess what, I mildly did. But only mildly, because these types of films are totally my bag. Not bad ones, but action, fantasy, comic films with eclectic characters which yield extraordinary powers. Just the fact that they come in a League is a total turnoff because each character is sadly sidelined to limited use and importance.

So thanks LXG, for bastardizing some of the greatest literary characters ever created. It didn’t take the Cultural Revolution, but a mere 110 minutes to decimate great literature. I’m glad that I never got to read all the books that these were based on because I would have probably just ripped my eyes out from their sad interpretation of these amazing people/creatures. For being extraordinary, these guys are EXTRA ordinary.
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Frey: ()

After seeing the awful reviews this movie has been getting (18% on rottentomatoes.com), I prepared myself for the worst with the hopes that these lowered expectations would make the movie better. The movie is better than I expected, but that really isn't saying much.

First of all, what the heck is the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen anyway? Supposedly it's based on a comic book, but I have heard of no such thing. Granted I haven't kept up with comics for like 10 years...but still. Who would think of writing a comic book based on famous literary figures? It's got to be the most boring comic ever.

But anyway LXG (I guess the studio didn't want people calling the movie
"Leg") is about a team of superheroes based on famous characters from such classics as The Portrait of Dorian Gray, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, and Dracula, and The Invisible Man. Well actually, it wasn't the Invisible Man, but just a copy cat. Sean Connery plays Allan Quatermain who is sent to recruit Mina Harker (the girl seduced by Dracula), Dorian Gray, Tom Sawyer, Captain Nemo, the invisible Skinner, and Mr. Hyde. These extraordinary gentlemen and woman need to stop the evil guy's plot of...I'm actually not sure what the evil guy's plot was. I think he was trying to develop an army with the same abilities as the extraordinary gentlemen.

From the perspective of someone who has not read any of these books, I
think I would have enjoyed it more if I had read the books just so I could understand some of the background to these characters. But then again, people who are in love with these classics would probably hate it since the movie butchers all these characters. Even I know that Tom Sawyer is not a secret service agent. And what's with Mina Harker being able to walk around in sunlight?? She's a vampire! Did Bram Stoker's vampires have different rules?? I go by the Buffy version. Vampires disintegrate in
sunlight!

Aside from these character flaws, the movie's plot was horrid and a bit hard to follow. A lot of things just did not make sense. What was that whole part in Venice about? I did not understands the League's logic. How does blowing up a section of Venice before the enemies blows it up help stop the rest of the city from blowing up? I just don't get it.

The cast was really nothing special either. Sean Connery is cool and all, but at 72, he's just way too old to be playing a superhero. And the rest of them were just blah. The only reason I remotely enjoyed this movie is because I enjoy action movies with big explosions and lots of fights. The
scene wear Mina Harker lunges up and takes down all these people with her vampire powers was cool. Plus, there wasn't really any slow points in the movie. The action moved it along nicely. Thank goodness too because dragging out this movie would just be torture.

So word of advice to movie makers: stick with the better known DC and
Marvel comics. No more of this literary characters as superheroes. It doesn't work. 20th Century Fox should just focus their efforts on the next
X-Men movie. Bring on X3!!