Starring Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Nick Nolte, Sam Elliott, Josh Lucas

Plot Summary In this adaptation of the long-running Marvel comic "The Incredible Hulk," research scientist Dr. Bruce Banner's failed experiments cause him to mutate into a monstrously powerful and savage green-skinned behemoth whenever he loses control of his emotions.

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RAARARGGHHHHHHH HULK SMASH!!! No. More like HULK BORE.

Sad, this is going to be one of the first comic book adaptations that doesn’t get over 4 stakes from me and I certainly hope it is the last. I don’t see where it went wrong. First off, we have kick ass casting for the two leads. Next, we spend over $150 million freaking dollars to perfect the green mean destroying machine. And finally, you get the asian dude that did “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” Oh, nevermind. I see it now.

As much as I love yellow power, Ang Lee was not meant to do action films. He took the action packed saga of Bruce Banner and tried to transform it into a sappy drama. Why did it take almost an hour for freaking Bruce to transform?! Spider-man…bam! 5 minutes and we have the infection of a radioactive spider bite. But no, Hulk needs an extra 55 minutes for what I’m assuming is to be painstaking inner conflict between a torrid past and uncertain future. Ok, fine. I can see you’re trying to be deep. Then make it into a 3 hour movie. Don’t build me up butter cup and then rush through the rest, because it comes across as confusing and kind of slow. I’m sure the story is fine, but the way it was executed was strange. Long and drawn out in unnecessary parts (Do we really need to see Jennifer Connelly driving a car down the street? ~ Ok, I get that she’s hot…show her doing other pointless actions like taking a shower or something then) and ridiculously rushed in others (ending?). The pacing of the movie was just awkward and not very engaging. Arrrrggghhhhhhhh why!!??!?! I wanted so much to like this one too! Que suerte!!!

What was with the little split screen, fade away, using every cool trick on imac movie maker technique too? I mean it was really fun for a while, and I was thoroughly pleased with seeing two people on screen in different areas or swishy fade aways, but it got old after about 20 minutes. Guess what? Two hours later and it’s still pretty old. And I don’t know if it’s punishment for not using Lucas’s THX, but the actors were like barely audible. You’d have to strain to hear what they were saying which was a major bummer, and I think it was because of demure Lee’s own method of speaking. In the “Ice Storm” it was kind of like that too where character’s whisper to each other which and remain fairly reserved the whole way throughout. Yeah I agree banshee yelling would suck too, but moderate Ang! Moderation!

This reservation of Lee also completely stifled the actors, which is absolutely ridiculous since Jennifer Connelly just won a freaking Oscar and barely gets to show any acting chops in here. This girl oozes with emotion in every wistful look, but that’s about as much as she gets in the whole film. No scenes let her do any real emoting, and besides looking most hot, she’s not much use (although I guess being hot is useful). Come on, let Betty use her scientist brain dude! Why always second fiddle! And Bana…Man I didn’t like Bana, but then I saw him most rugged and hot on Leno and I completely changed my mind about him. He’s pretty hot and going to be a most excellent Hector against Brad Pitt as Achilles in Troy. Could there be any more hot guys in that film (Orlando Bloom as Paris)?!!? Anyway, he’s the weakest character in the movie, and that’s pretty damn sad since he is THE HULK. Well, it’s not entirely his fault, since anytime he gets semi annoyed or emotional he has to run away with his tail between his legs and let the CGI do the talking. Oh, and as much as I like CGI, the big green guy just didn’t do it for me. I know they were going for realism, but it looked off somehow (although the best part in the movie involved a nifty fight scene with some canine computerized friends). OMG...did I just say that about computers? Oh wow.

Ok, Ok, enough of my bagging. I was just sad panda since I expected way too much from the movie after Joblo and Ebert both gave it pretty high marks. I mean I love Lee for trying. This is definitely not his typical movie and he gave it a lot of effort and put his own Lee touch on it (too bad I don’t really like his films). While the split screens were annoying, he tried to jazz things up and make it cool with multiple perspectives. He also opened the movie excellently with the background story of Bruce’s childhood which was a most awesome intro. Unfortunately, it didn’t just end there and dragged on and on and on. It just felt like he was uncomfortable doing a great big action film and wanted to make it a heart wrenching drama. But we’re a summer movie audience here man. We’re not looking for golden statues, we’re looking for rip em’, roar em’, action packed fun. There just wasn’t enough of that in Hulk in comparison to “The Matrix” or “X2,” which set some impossibly high standards in comparison.

Now don’t get me wrong, the “Hulk” is definitely not a BAD movie (see “Hollywood Homicide,” or if you’re really risky “Harvard Man”). Let’s just say it’s not Marvel at its very best. BUT, I am still a comic book whore so I’m going to recommend it. At the very least you’ll see some hotties for 2+ hours, and that’s never bad.
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Alas, the streak of me giving Marvel movies 4-5 stakes is over. Although it really isn't much of a surprise since I was never a fan of the Hulk. He's not a superhero! He's just some poor green giant running away from people trying to kill him. Only person he saves is himself!

So anyway, for those who aren't familiar with the Hulk, he's the big green
giant guy. His other persona is Bruce Banner, a BERKELEY scientist who got exposed to a massive dose of gamma radiation. The radiation did something to him so that whenever he gets angry he turns into the Hulk. That's what I knew from collecting Marvel cards as a kid. But apparently, the movie says that his father injected himself with some stuff and passed it on to Bruce when he was born. And because of this genetic variation, Bruce always had the Hulk inside of him and the gamma radiation triggered its release. Perhaps you true Marvel fanatics could tell me if that's really what happened. But anyway, the government sees the Hulk as a threat and a potential weapon. So they capture him and do stuff to him and that makes the Hulk not so happy, and then chaos is unleashed.

Jennifer Connelly plays Bruce Banner's coworker and love interest Betty
Ross, who also happens to be the daughter of some government head person who is trying to capture the Hulk. I like Jennifer Connelly, but isn't
this pretty much the same role she had in A Beautiful Mind. In both movies, she played a woman who had to cope with her man being multi-personality guy. C'mon Jenn, I know you're capable of other stuff. The rest of the cast was alright. I wasn't all too impressed with Eric Bana, and I find Nick Nolte annoying.

All in all, the movie isn't that bad. It moves slowly in the beginning because so much time is spent on telling the story of Bruce Banner. The Hulk doesn't actually appear until well into the movie, and then finally we start seeing walls being smashed and tanks being thrown. The movie did not need to be over three hours. Spider-man was able to show the origins part within the first 20 minutes. Once the action started, the movie picked up. It actually became suspenseful which is what I like in movies.

Ang Lee's direction is always excellent. Especially in a movie like this, when the main character is completely CGI, it must be a lot more difficult. And he literally put himself into the movie. The motions of the Hulk are actually Ang Lee's movements. I also liked the split screen technique he used to give it the comic book effect. It was nice seeing scenes from the different camera angles. And I guess Ang does a good job showing another side to comic book stories. It's not all about good fighting evil. He takes us into the character's history. But it's just too much history for me. I prefer the action packed adventures of the X-Men.

Once The Hulk gets started on his rampage the movie starts getting better. He was quite neat watching him leap a couple hundred miles at a time. But they should forget about making a Hulk 2. It's not franchise material. When it comes down to it, there really isn't much of a story once you get past his origins. There's only so many ways you can tell a story about him fighting people trying to kill him. Hulk isn't one of those heroes who save the world from devious villains.